i hate the fact that you can't logic away some feelings. or any of them, for that matter.
life would be soooooo much easier.


okay i concede it'll also be a whole lot less fun.
but less painful.
but less fun.
= /
HOW?!
hedonism or plain survival?
*short-lived conflict*
FUN! :D


hahahaha that did not make things easier.
xD

days like these i know we were made for eternity.

you can listen to the most beautiful, most achingly blissful pieces of music and they're amazing, they're soul-swelling, they make you cry with joy and bittersweetness and they make you feel like the entire human race is just so heartrendingly endearing in their earnestness and their will to live, and yet the most painful part of this is that it inspires the darkest, most terrifying yearning for something more, an unexplainable conviction stirring in the deepest, unspeakable parts of ourselves that there must be an ultimate paradise to be found from all this searching, all this longing and love and life and loss that we can only helplessly express through constant catharsis in art and music and dance and even just striving for our everyday goals and finding contentment in a pure blue sky but down there -

it isn't enough.

and it's because we were made for a higher purpose; we were so fearfully painstakingly joyfully wonderfully brought into this earth and someone, some awesome beautiful one out there, is just waiting for all of us to finally, at long last, realize His love for us and begin preparing for the perfect paradise that will last long long after this earth has faded away and it's but a shadow of a memory. we're lost in this huge world, we're insignificant transient specks who struggle to find meaning and worth in a globe that just wants to move on and on and on and some days we just flop over and our friends seem so far away (when they're probably experiencing the same troubles, but i've realized this isn't something you can ever fully share unless you get in each other's minds) and you're just so tired and there's God, there's Jesus waiting ever so heartachingly patient and He invites us to lose ourselves in His glory and live for Him, and in that we will always always find our true and significant worth because He loves us SO much. (:

and so we will live as expressions of His love, reflections of His glory, eternally joyful in the light of His own enjoyment of His creation. Life won't be easy, but what a comfort that we know He's always holding our hand. :D

and till we see Jesus face to face, we'll trust in Him, and do our best on this earth to reflect more and more of Jesus' own perfect character. (:

so i'll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned
in awe
of the One who gave it all
so i'll stand
my soul LORD to You surrendered
all i am
is Yours

xD

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